mathNEWS Issue 100.1: Friday, January 13, 2006

What would Cthulhu do?

One day I was walking through the school hallway trying to get to class when I saw a hoard of humanoid creatures just standing in the middle of the hallway, blocking the path to the class which I yearned to attend. So I tried to politely ask them to move or let me through. Eventually I grew impatient, which led me to the question: What would Cthulhu do?

So I began to growl in a voice, deep and ancient. The ground began to crumble and sections of it collapsed. Some of the hoard's heads exploded, rending them into rubble. Those who survived were driven to the point of insanity and all completed their degrees in arts successfully. Then, there were a brazen few remaining who joined a cult and began worshipping me. I ate them with my large, gaping mouth that was adorned with mighty tentacles. Soon thereafter, I reclaimed the world as my domain, and ascended to destroy the Elder Gods.

Then I went to class late, only to find that I failed my assignment. Then I thought: What would Cthulhu do?


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