How to write an Imprint editorial

1. Open your browser; point it to Google (or your search engine of choice).
2. Pick up your paper, find the name of some existing newsmaker; type it into the search box and press enter.
3. Find some dirt; if you are unable to do so, type "dirt" into the search box and press enter again.
4. Take notes; use them to form an opinion that your target is not very nice.
5. Start writing; spout the random facts you discovered, and use them to justify your unfavourable opinion.
6. Get out your thesaurus; replace some words with bigger ones. Remember, you're supposed to sound educated.
7. Begin padding your editorial. Repeat your opinion for emphasis.
8. Pretend you're frothing at the mouth and tack some more opinions on to the end.
9. Proofread your work. Or don't, and let the proofreaders do so instead.
10. Congratulations, you have a new Imprint editorial. Add your name and submit it for publishing.

Richard