Vote For the Leafy Green Party

Still undecided on who to vote for in this upcoming federal election? Have you considered voting for the Leafy Green Party? Probably not, but let me give you some outlines of their platform, and see if I can change your mind.

1. Lettuce Rejoice - Every citizen will be free to celebrate any time he/she wants anywhere he/she wants to.
2. Turnip the Volume - Every citizen will be free to listen to music as loud as he wants between the hours of 5:00 pm and 6:00 pm local time.
3. Cucumber Lumber - In an effort to conserve trees, we will breed extra strength cucumbers to use in place of wood for the building of homes.
4. Peas in the Middle East - We will work our hardest to ensure peas in the Middle East. Due to a recent drought, they only have corn.
5. Porn on the Cob - Access to pornography should be easy and anonymous. We strive to set up porn access points on street corners in all major cities in Canada to ensure people's rights are upheld.
6. Nuclear Power Eggplant - In an effort to boost power generation and reduce our reliance on foreign power supplies, we will build more nuclear power eggplants in the Pickering and Peterborough regions.

Vote Leafy Green, the vegetable party!

The views expressed above do not necessarily represent the views of the author.

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