The Seven Dwarves at UW!

Fairy Tales Can Come True

As times change and new resources come available, only those who make themselves flexible and willing to cope will be successful. That being said, the Seven Dwarves from the fairy tale of "Snow White" have run out of ore to mine and decided that they needed a career change. So they all came to the University of Waterloo to become well versed in other things. Where are they? We'll give you hints, but see if you can spot them in any of your classes!

GRUMPY: No matter how perfect their marks are, they will never be satisfied and feel that they failed on some level. No matter how many of their friends actually fail, they will still cry more. Grumpy will also feel ashamed after drinking a glass of milk only to find some of it remains in the glass, and mentions they are not complete when they don't finish writing all the decimals of a third on an assignment. You may need to talk Grumpy out of jumping off the balcony on the grounds that they won't do it perfectly.

SNEEZY: Spends all free time at health services, and believes that even the slightest discomfort is the result of some greater disease. Regardless of how contagious the disease is or how it is typically contracted (i.e. from birth), Sneezy will manage to have it manifest in their bodies in such a way that no one else will ever become infected. Mention SARS to Sneezy and they will quarantine themselves for a fortnight.

BASHFUL: Bashful is in ActSci, and despite what you may think, does not live in residence, but a dark ominous cave with other ActScis. When Bashful emerges to hunt for food, do not attempt to socialize with Bashful for you will frighten them to the point that they will flee black to said dark cave. Once a year Bashful doubles as a participant for Groundhog Day.

DOPEY: Having recently been exposed to the party scene, Dopey has consumed every possible substance that he has come into contact with. To fund these new-found vices, Dopey has begun frequenting online gambling sites. Dopey's access to their parents' credit cards notwithstanding, Dopey seems to have an infinite supply of disposible income. Dopey frequently wants you to feel sorry when the sequence of their marks converges towards 0. [Well, technically the lowest mark you can get is a 32... — iEd]

SLEEPY: Sleepy is one of those interesting people with limitless potential in their field of study. When you pass Sleepy in the hall, they will likely be sleeping. Sleepy spends a lot of time in the Comfy Lounge in a corner with a comfortable blanket on them. If Sleepy ever shows up to class, then they will probably have sleep-walked in by accident. Throughout the entire school term, the only time Sleepy will get up is to walk to an exam in hopes that they can sleep well.

DOC: Doc is one of those geniuses who spends the majority of time selling some of the more interesting things to Dopey. In fact, Doc's unofficial co-op job is apprenticing to an Apothecary. Doc could have done very well in school, but decided to major in Arts instead to ensure weeks and weeks of free time for a successful business. This is Doc's 18th year in university.

HAPPY: The cheeriest person around, and the only reason this is so is because Happy never goes to class. Happy has decided that learning is entirely an individual thing, and studies on their own free time. Free time being the loading times from one computer game to the other. Happy will always be happy for as long as you know them. Usually during the first term — not many people are happy after that, not even Happy.

In fact, there's an eighth dwarf called High Strung. The other seven don't like talking about him much.

So there you have it, UW! Where are the dwarves? They may be in one of your classes so look out.

Angelo