mathNEWS Issue 109.2: Friday, January 30, 2009

How Do Mermaids Procreate?

From ancient times until now, one very important question remains unanswered: How do mermaids procreate? I've asked several people this question already (you know who you are), but the answers were all so sadly logical.

99% of the six people surveyed claimed that mermaids reproduce like humans or fish. The other 1 percent thinks it's both, but he's a voice in my head so he doesn't count. But honestly, people, just because it looks like a fish-monkey hybrid thingy doesn't mean it is one (I think). Or that it reproduces like one. For all I know, it can be your progeny and his cousin from Japan (who may or may not exist) in disguise. (Please ignore all technicalities in the previous statement. And consult a dictionary if you don't know what "progeny" means.) But I'm rumbling off topic. So, back to the question at hand.

How do mermaids procreate? Obviously I don't know, or else the title of this article would have been a statement instead of a question. If you, dear reader, has an idea, kindly teleport your answer to me in a timely manner. And provide a graphical description to back your arguments.

One With Many Names

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