Canada's Food Guide has reported that a diet low in electrium can lead to mental fatigue, physical fatigue, mood swings, hallucinations, decreased sex drive, violent diarrhea, violent crime, bouts of insanity, or the desire to study pure math. Whats even more shocking is that most people have never learned the importance of electrium intake. I am here to provide you with information on the benefits of electrium, good sources of electrium, and advice from an expert in the field.
Let's begin with a brief history: electrium is the 0th element of the periodic table. It was first discovered by the Chinese philosopher Confucius who had nothing to do while everyone else was busy inventing math. Confucius noticed that when he ingested electrium, he became very good at making proverbs. This was also noted by other famous philosophers throughout history.
Electrium should always be included in a balanced diet along with calcium, magnesium, and potassium because it has many health benefits. Electrium increases lip muscle strength, improves memory span by up to 30 seconds, makes you immune to Twilight paraphernalia, and reduces your chances of being injured in snowmobile accidents (although it may increase your chances of being struck by lightning). Some foods that are high in electrium include: electric eels, mushroom cream cheese, grape-flavoured children's cough syrup, guava mixed with red bean, and yellow snow.
Here are some frequently asked questions about electrium answered by world-renowned scientist Professor Oak:
Q: Will eating a lot of electrium give me superpowers?
A: No one knows for sure. It may be possible, but it is very likely that you will get hemorrhoids.
Q: Will eating more eletrium get me a girlfriend?
A: Yes it probably will! Eletrium will decrease your chances of studying pure math and we all know that no one wants to date anyone in pure math.
Q: Can I become addicted to electium?
A: It's possible but there are many ways to prevent this. Stop taking electrium immediately if you notice any of the following signs and symptoms: if you have an incredible urge to chew through electric wires, if you sweat cheese, or if you have recurring dreams of being carried on the shoulders of a young boy in a Japanese children's cartoon show. Once you stop taking electrium, you will go into a period of withdrawl for about 2 to 3 years. If you wish to reduce this time, you may wish to take up recreational drugs for a while.