Howdy concerned readers!
Imprint, you were begging for this.
On page 21, the Imprint rose the issue that the Women's Hockey team was being "unable to streak." Because of the rough equivalence in bagginess of both women's and men's hockey equipment, mathNEWS has discovered that this tragic disability must have something to do with the unhookability of the sports bra. Apparently, the only thing that is keeping these proud amazons from casting off their equipment and liberating themselves into the glory of streaking, enjoyed by many men, is a series of velcro, buttons or hooks that shackle them to their iron maiden, the bra.
Several proactive men have also decided to address this issue, saying that it would bring more equality to the sexes on the playing field and in the bedroom environment, like the men of the CSC, who are generally anti-clothing, whether it be bras or pants. Some men are, however, less supportive. Jeff Bain, the leader of the Men for the Appreciation of Bras (MAB) had this to say "I am totally pro-bras, especially for fat people." MAB has been gathering support for the continued enshacklement of women to their sports bras, arguing that, if necessary, men too will wear supportive garmentry, if that's what it takes. (Jeff Bain was unfortunately mauled by a rabid clone of himself before we could hold an interview.)
mathNEWS is planning a full investigation into this issue, calling upon our best (and only) female reporter (and cartoonist!) if she's not too busy (or graduated). In the meantime, on with the MathSoc Spring elections!
mastHEAD Question: What is your campaign slogan?
"Power to the perki!" (Micheal "perki" Perkins) "I'm not InsidED!" (GroovyED) "Panda-ring to the public!" (Megaton Panda) "Come to me. I have candy and a van." (-the New Guy-) "A vote for me is a vote for good things! (If you know what I mean)" (InsidED) "It's bigger! It's sharper! AND IT HAS MORE KNIVES!" (Big Mak, !CHO, The Other tree and !BOB) "You're not even going to vote, are you?" (cbhl lhbc) "Yes we can!" (Lich) "I will schock your socks off!!" (Electric Mouse) "Because if you don't I'll tell your mom" (Tbor) "What the fuck is the mastHEAD question?" (Thor) "Elect me and I'll ban InsideED from puns("CorruptEd")
"Sports bra unhookage: the plight of women is the plight of us all"