profQUOTES

Computer Science was powerful, then Finance was powerful, now nobody is powerful because we're in a recession.

Csima, PMATH 330

That's what many people hoped this course will be like: I teach you some simple algorithms and you do it... those people are no longer here.

Csima, PMATH 330

No matter what you do, you're going to lose the game.

Csima, PMATH 432

The problem with random numbers is that they're kind of random.

Forsyth, CS 371

I'm a living dynamical system.

Zorzitto, AMATH 331

...the particle can't just sit there and say gee, I don't know what to do.

Zorzitto, AMATH 331

When learning a language, you have to learn how to say no, otherwise you'll have to say yes all the time.

Kim, KOREA 101R

[after talking about genetics and evolution] but I'm no biology professor. I'm better.

Orchard, CS 370

It's like crack in a burrito.

Lavell, BU 311

So you see the theme here, I like 'degenerative' random variables, I like 'Slutsky's' theorem...

Struthers, STAT 330

You might remember Venn diagrams from STAT 230 ... or grade 4.

Vanderburg, PMATH 340

I checked your textbook for a proof and it said that we've done enough examples for it to be plausible. Must have been written by engineers.

Vanderburg, PMATH 340

The number of unemployed people doesn't count people living in their parents' basement 'finding themselves'.

Sen, ECON 341

Prof: I don't know any Greek letters besides alpha, beta and gamma, so anything I don't know I just call gamma.
Student: What's that Jesus fish thing on the board?
Prof: You mean alpha?

Doyle, ECON 401

Some professors tell you that there are no stupid questions. That's a lie, there are lots of stupid questions.

Doyle, ECON 401

During my undergrad I was basically a pothead with no pot.

Doyle, ECON 401

We may not agree on much in this course, but the one thing we can agree on is I'm not god.

Doyle, ECON 401

You don't want to get what you deserve all the time, because you usually deserve a beating.

Doyle, ECON 401

I'm going to do the proof in 2-space because that way I can draw a picture.

Doyle, ECON 401

This isn't some mysterious math ninja trick.

Doyle, ECON 401

(microphone dies) Hmm... I lost my voice.

Chou, CHE 102

Don't ask me how the Arrhenius Law is derived. Ask him. Actually, I think he's dead.

Chou, CHE 102

(after course evaluations) I hope you enjoyed your revenge...

Wu, MATH 115

(Prof: Have you had enough?
Students: Yes.
Prof: I don't think so.

Wu, MATH 115

Have any questions about anything? Life? Need counseling advice?

Dupont, MATH 117

I'm not going to try to write all the integrals possible, but your textbook does that.

Dupont, MATH 117

Yeah, there's a group of gnomes that are working feverishly to get new integrals out for Christmas.

Dupont, MATH 117

Try it out, if you get the right answer, I'll friend you on Facebook... actually not really.

Dupont, MATH 117

What's the antiderivative of that? Anyone? I have cookies.

Dupont, MATH 117

I wish I had a tuba player accompanying me everywhere.

Dupont, MATH 117

When I said that the questions on the final were straightforward, I meant that it wouldn't be like 'There is a mixing tank with wind blowing at it and a donkey kicking it. Find how much sweat the donkey gives off.'

Dupont, MATH 117

This is not Harry Potter's wizard class.

Bizheva, PHYS 115

I know that figure skating is not in your curriculum, but it's fun.

Bizheva, PHYS 115

This very pretty skater can be represented as this cylinder...

Bizheva, PHYS 115

Prof: Anyone want to explain why this is causing the chair to rotate?
Student: Magic.

Bizheva, PHYS 115

sin(x) doesn't really grow. It grows one way, and then... it grows the other way?

Clarke, CS 137

Uh oh, who said 'What's the point?' This is a math class! It's just cool!

Clarke, CS 137

If you write a question for the final and send it in to me and I put it on the exam, you'll know how to answer it - or at least I hope so.

Clarke, CS 137

Cool. Not only does it do the wrong thing, it erases your data.

Clarke, CS 137

Sometimes I actually get code to work, believe it or not.

Clarke, CS 137

You can make an educated guess like 'it's over there under that rug'.

Godfrey, CS 137

Phonebooks. Do you remember those? It's a huge book you get every year with people's names and numbers in it.

Godfrey, CS 137

The language spec says 'There be dragons'.

Godfrey, CS 137

We can nail it in place. Or nail it to its perch, as they'd say in a pet shop about a dead parrot.

Godfrey, CS 137

There's a famous quote - which I made up - 'The price of C is eternal vigilance'.

Godfrey, CS 137

'Civil' here means 'not criminal'. Actually, I'm not quite sure what it means.

Morton, SE 101

The judge decided that the manufacturer should have ensured that their drinks did not contain decomposed snails.

Morton, SE 101

You can't sign a contract with your buddy to rob a bank and then sue him for not helping you.

Morton, SE 101

I love picking up chicks! I can't wait!.

Hartling, SPCOM 223

Math is magic! Why pull a rabbit out of a hat when you can pull a vector out of a field?

Anonymous

No humans mark these tests. We use apes.

Forrest, PHYS 111

In the 1600?s, Newton was watching a Leafs game, and they were losing as usual so he sat outside under an apple tree.

Forrest, PHYS 111

Now we play a game on children?s television called ?One of these graphs is not like the other.

Jao, MATH 239

I?ll put a Greek letter here because you always put a Greek letter when you don?t know what to do.

Jao, MATH 239

profQUOTESmathNEWS