mastHEAD

Three cheers for surrealism! Hip! Hip! Walrus!

Howdy concerned readers!

I'm back! And this time, I'm not an editor! (It's true. Work terms are so cruel.) But that begs the question, why are we here? Are we on workterms, but living close enough to the University that we feel obliged to babble verbosely for a newsletter? Are we desperately trying to finish a course we failed horribly in the winter? Or are we here for the plain and simple reason that our parents don't love us anymore? Well, yours at least.

mathNEWS writers are often characterized by their social inadequacy, but more distinctively by the brooding noir humour that can only be the result of years of parental neglect. And mathNEWS feeds off of this internalized self-loathing and gives them an outlet, an escape from the cruel, Kafkaesque world we call early adulthood. It has even been conjectured that the high crime rates throughout much of the world could in fact be blamed on their absense of mathNEWS and the larger internet presence of the Imprint.

Read our next issue! It just might detail my plan to use hatred as a cheap, renewable energy source!

The mastHEAD question is: Other than years of parental neglect, why are you mad?

image (I'm not mad. That's what they all say. But one day, I'll show you all who's mad...), InsidED (I'm in software! What do you expect?), snippet (I had to code in Java today), The Actuary (Not enough dead people), import this (My GF won't use birth control), Megaton Panda (Running out of non-specialized ingredient when cooking, i.e. salt), perki (The rice is full of evil), CorruptED (I'm not mad, you're mad! You're all mad! *gets carried away by men in white coats*), Lich (Running out of a specialized ingredient when cooking, i.e. MSG), The Management (Can you crack my CODE?), CODE: e <<access denied>> (I like apples), GroovyED (CorruptED doesn't corrupt people)

Impulse Vector, not ImpulsED
"Mad as in insane? Well, that 'cause of the lobotomy!"