One-Line NHL Season Previews

It's like a twitter feed, but not!

Hockey season is quickly upon us, and for those of us who follow hockey (ie the cool kids), I'm going to preview every team in the NHL with (almost) one sentence. Maybe even in burning question form!

• Anaheim Ducks: Removing the "Mighty" isn't going to help stop Duck-hunting season in Cali this year.
• Atlanta Thrashers: Say hello to one of the few teams thinner up front than the Toronto Maple Leafs. Heyo!
• Boston Bruins: Incredibly deep up front, dominant blueline and good goaltending means they'll get through a full regular season before choking again.
• Buffalo Sabres: Vezina-winning goalie should help alleviate the almost complete lack of talent on that blueline.
• Calgary Flames: Since when did banking on bringing in what didn't work two years ago come off as smart asset management?
• Carolina Hurricanes: Skinner and pals are talented, but a few years away from real contention again.
• Chicago Blackhawks: Fireselling the cup champs still show an incredibly deep top 12 forwards, so Turco should sleepwalk to 30 wins or more.
• Colorado Avalanche: Can Anderson duplicate being hot before new years and cold after?
• Columbus Blue Jackets: Team has done everything to justify a 25% decrease in season ticket renewals.
• Dallas Stars: Expect them to play like Dallas up front, the Leafs of last year on the backend
• Detroit Red Wings: Did you know Jimmy Howard has never played as well as he did last season in any of his prior stops in the minors? Ever?
• Edmonton Oilers: Hall, Eberle, MPS, Omark are all talented but man, is that goaltending situation a mess.
• Florida Panthers: Vokoun will be his spectacular self, but the Panthers will be out of it early and if he's lucky, he gets traded to a real team.
• Los Angeles Kings: They could be the next Chicago Blackhawks: Is this the year? (I'm thinking no)
• Minnesota Wild: James Sheppard's automobile crash is the embodiment of their upcoming season.
• Montreal Canadiens: Will the Price finally be right? (No)
• Nashville Predators: Unsurprisingly deep on D, unsurprisingly less so on F: Whether or not Rinne loses his job like Ellis and Mason will be the key.
• New Jersey Devils: Kovalchuk only cost this team multiple prospects, two firsts and a third, it'll be fine!
• New York Islanders: Tavares and pals will be fine offensively, it's too bad Dipietro will likely sit the season out like he always does.
• New York Rangers: How Sather still has a job after Redden and Kotalik is beyond me.
• Ottawa Senators: Choking in the playoffs is a lot easier if they expect to make the playoffs this year.
• Philadelphia Flyers: The Eastern version of the Hawks: Deep everywhere but so many ??? in goal.
• Phoenix Coyotes: Can Kyle Turris finally show that he's ready for the bigs?
• Pittsburgh Penguins: Mike Comrie had a good year: Became Mr. Hillary Duff, and now a tryout on Crosby's line? Score! (No, really. He'll score if he sticks)
• San Jose Sharks: A powerhouse like they always will be in the regular season. The benefactor is going to be the goalie that starts off hotter.
• St. Louis Blues: Will Halak finally prove that he's a franchise goalie... For half the price of Luongo?
• Tampa Bay Lighting: Yzerman made many shrewd moves, but he's not jesus. There are still a lot of things that need to go right for TB to succeed.
• Toronto Maple Leafs: On paper, deep at D, probably ok in goal and lol-worthy up front. Bold prediction: Clark MacArthur scores 73 points!
• Vancouver Canucks: Bold prediction: Sedin won't be as godly as he was last season. Reeeeallly bold there
• Washington Capitals: Varlamov is the starter for now, but his shakey health and Neuvirth's talent means that might not be for long.

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