Bad Bridge

To the tune of the theme from ``Cops''

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they over-ruff you?

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge,
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they squeeze on you?

The Bridge Hand give ya no breee-ak,
The split is zero to EIGHT (to EIGHT!)

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they pull trump on you?

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they uppercut you?

Your Partner-Man give ya no breee-ak,
He bid Seven No with no ACE, no FACE!

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they double you?

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they finesse you?

The Director-Man give ya no breee-ak,
He penalise you for tak-ING too LONG!

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when they psyche on you?

Bad Bridge Bad Bridge
What'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do WHEN ZEKE COMES FOR YOU????

Michael ``Zaphod'' Brown
Jason ``The Saint'' Simpson
Tom ``Big Can 'O Whoop Ass'' Pontoriero
Keith ``Amiron'' Ellul