Is This You?

This is a story about life, people, hope, wanting to change things, wanting life to have a meaning, wanting to help other people and all the rest that goes along with the wonderful idealism that some of us show, and that all of us have inside. It's about that feeling you get when you watch a movie about making a better tomorrow, or when somebody is nice to you out of the blue. You see, around here, it seems that those things are lacking. I mean, I see it deep down in people and I see it well in the people I know, but in general there's something wrong with this picture.

We have here a large group of people about 19-25, an age where you're not yet supposed to be cynical, and extremely intelligent people at that. But I look around and all I see is concern about what grades you're going to get, all those assignments you've gotta do, and after that who you're going to go out and drink with, or dance with or whatever. And every once in a while I meet people who see a bit beyond that, for which that is not enough, who want to make this place a little better for everyone, who see that there's a little more here than the numbers on your report cards, the words you've got on your resume, and the cool crowd you hang out with.

So I thought finally that I'd hunted down an actual group of people who cared about some of the right things. And for a while they fooled me, with all their fancy titles and budgets and books of rules. But then I looked a little deeper, I pushed a little harder, I stayed a little longer, long enough in fact to see it all come crashing down. The people who actually cared about making a difference in that little group, the ones who actually tried, were progressively slowed down and then actually stopped. Why? Because of life. In life there's obstacles. Some are small and some are huge. To be fair this one is huge. It's the system. Yes the big evil system. And I know this happens to everyone. Sooner or later, you run up against this wall and you realise life isn't fair, life is pointless, life is painful, and you look around no one seems to understand. Sometimes you try to create something and the rules drag you down and stop you from doing anything even though deep down inside you know you do it, you should do it. Now, you can either decide that you will do it or you can give up.

And that's what happened in this little group, little by little they gave it all away and now there doesn't seem to be much left besides the fancy outside of any established group. And I'm looking at this and I'm saying fight it. I'm looking at every empty look in the computer lab and wondering why are you here at 5 AM? I'm looking at people arguing pointless things for hours instead of getting up and doing things and I'm wondering how people can live life around the things that to me are the most important and never actually try to reach out and touch them. And I'm wondering how come people don't even try or give up without a fight. And so the little group became just like it set out not to be: unfriendly, pointless, and superficial. Personally I wish this hadn't happened but I guess it's too late now. And yeah maybe this is just some cheesy little story to you but you've bothered to read it haven't you?

So all I'm saying is maybe people should try and stand for what they believe in every once in a while instead of just listening to bands that sing about it, watching movies about it, or reading books about it. Just try it for a change. It might make life a little more meaningful.

Ana Badour