The Oracle Speaks

Dear oracle,

will i ever meet Zac Hanson?

ZacsHotChk@aol.com

Gentle worshipper, the Oracle understands your pain, your yearning for the unattainable. He knows that you are a woman of taste and refinement -- with some work on your capitalization skills, any man would find you attractive. Yet, the Oracle is puzzled: how could you be attracted to such a worthless piece of decaying meat as that Zac Hanson? His transient fame with a trashy teen-pop group can never compensate for the desolate years of poverty and addiction that await him. No, you will never meet Zac Hanson -- be grateful.

The Oracle