Life in the Slow Lane
Guess what? I'm baaaaaaaack!!
Hey everybody! How's it going? It's the Subliminal one, here once again to
fill the dull void that is Friday morning with witty humour, keen
observations on life, and just good, clean, wholesome fun!
...Except that it never turns out that way. Normally, I just end up
running my mouth off on some silly thing, while trying to throw in any
scrap of humour I can find. I know, you deserve better than that. Well,
by golly, today you're going to get better than that! (You're going to run
your mouth off on LOTS of silly little things?)
...Ummm, no...why would I do that? Heh heh heh...d'oh.
Okay, so you found me out. Shall we start then?
- It looks like Canada's hopes of bringing Lord Stanley home where he
belongs rest with the team in the city that the rest of Canada loves to
hate. The Toronto Maple Leafs are the only Canadian team left in the
postseason, and with the top 3 seeds in the Eastern Conference gone, the
Leafs look more and more like they will be representing the East in the
Stanley Cup finals. I realize it's still early in the second round (by the
time you read this, games 3 and 4 of the Leafs-Pens series will have been
played), but I believe that when the smoke clears, we will see the Leafs get
their first crack at the Cup in a long time. Sure, Pittsburgh is a talented
team, and the third round promises to be a real goaltender's duel with
either Byron Dafoe or (God forbid) Dominik Hasek at the other end of the
ice. But, in my humble opinion, Pittsburgh, Boston, and Buffalo are teams
that the Leafs should (emphasis on "should") be able to beat. You may
laugh, and you may scoff, but I say unto you that I have waited my whole
life to see the Blue and White carry Lord Stanley around, and I have faith
that this is the year I finally get to see it happen. And if you're not
down with that, I've got 3 words for you: GO LEAFS GO!!!
- I feel so let down. My last safe haven from the world of Corporate
America has been breached. Now, keep in mind that I've been out of town
for the last 4 months, and never really read the K-W Record all that often
prior to then, so this may have been happening for a long time. Regardless
of that, I'm still ticked off about it. I was reading the Saturday Comics
— you know, the big, full-colour pull-out version. (Hey! I hear you
snickering back there.) Anyway, on the first page, there's a comic "strip"
called, "carsumer capers." (Yes, it is capitalized like that.) All this
"strip" consists of is 3 panels with the company logo, which is a talking
carface (who is called "Otto" for some strange reason), telling us one of
the worst puns I have ever heard. And that's it! Oh, and we're told that
this was "brought to you by CarsumerTM, yadda yadda yadda." I realize
that people have advertised in the comics section for years — but
none that I've ever seen have gone so far as to make a strip out of their
advertisements. Where have we gone wrong, people? How did we allow
ourselves to reach this stage? I take this to be a sign that the
Apocalypse is catching the next Greyhound to Waterloo.
- I just spent the last 4 months over in Kingston, as part of my program.
I am part of the Math Teaching Option, and as such I am obliged to spend
time as, of all things, a student of Queens University. When I went over
there, I must admit that I did not think too kindly of Kingston. I simply
did not want to be there. It was too far away from home, too far away from
Waterloo, too far away from the things and people that I valued the most.
However, looking back, I must admit that Kingston is a pretty decent city.
It's fairly well laid-out, quiet for the most part, and fairly friendly.
It certainly is a student-oriented city — outside of the downtown, you
couldn't walk 2 blocks without running into a convenience store or
laundromat. Queens isn't that bad, either. (Hey, they have anti-Western
T-shirts there, so they can't be that bad.) My big problem with Queens was
with the pathetic excuse of a computer lab that exists at the Faculty of
Education. There are about 30 computers, of which roughly 10 are PC's; the
rest are Power Macs. There are about 600 people in the Faculty of
Education that need the lab. Oh, and the lab closed at 9:45 pm. on
weeknights, and sooner on weekends. You do the math. Oh well. Anyway, I
did learn a big lesson during my stay at Queens: You really do get out of
life what you put into it. I regret that I didn't realize this sooner into
my term, because all of the interesting research I started doing at the end
of the term conflicted with all of the essays and reports that I had left
until the end of the term. D'oh. So, overall, I certainly had a
better experience in Kingston that I thought I would, and I learned that
you can't give up on something before you even try it. So, this is my one
little shining nugget of advice that I can give to you: Take on new
experiences head-on, and make the effort to do things. You'll find that
you get out of the experience more than you thought possible. That
computer lab, though — it was as bad as a talking carface.
Chris "Mr. Subliminal (not to be confused
with a talking carface)"