mastHEAD

Guest Editor: Col. Mustard

Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! There we were, enjoying a quiet dinner party, when a mathNEWS editor turns up dead in the closet!

Naturally, my fellow guests pulled out their little notepads and started to question each other feverishly, trying to figure out who did the dirty deed. I had bigger fish to fry, myself. Oh, I asked my share of questions, so that those other fools wouldn't get suspicious; but then, when they weren't looking... I stole away to an XTerm and put together this issue. At last! My chance to twist the minds of math students! And it cost me so very little...

Of course, there were other, little people who likewise helped with this issue. They said some strange things during the investigation: Greg "Blue" Taylor ("Revolver? I didn't even know her!"), Gigi "Purple" Garbett ("I'm not the stapler. I resent that!"), Matt "Yellow" Walsh ("Revolver was first, but snooker was worse."), Chad "White" Severn ([pointing at Matt]"It was her... him."), Steve "Green" Hanov ("You're dropping your fly?"), Mike "Red" Thorsley ("I like my muscle tension."), Chris "Invisible" McGuire ("No comment. No, I really mean it. What part of the words no comment don't you understand?"), and Jean "Adjudicator" Knetsch ("Honey, darling, dearest, sweetheart... don't."). Richard "Corpse" Bilson was also around, but was keeping suspiciously silent. I think he knows something...

Blast! That infernal strumpet Mrs. Peacock is sneaking around the Conservatory again. I had best make myself scarce. My regards to Marion at Graphics, though, for bringing my megalomaniac dream to print.

Colonel Mustard
You'll never take me alive!