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The Best Thing To Happen To Men Since Calculus

Have you ever wondered about, "How to kiss her where it counts..." or, "The Joy of Home Improvement," or, "Her Secret Sex Fantasy?" Well, you're reading the wrong magazine, dumbass.

But while we have the testosterone flowing, let's talk for a moment about one thing near and dear to the hearts of most guys: pornography. A big thank you to Professor Jeffery Shallit for his hard-fought battle to preserve for members of the university community the right to read a number of usenet newsgroups that have been banned by the administration for the past few years. So the next time you open up alt.sex.bestiality, hum a few bars of "Oh! Canada" and reflect on what a great country this is that allows people to make asses of themselves in whatever way they see fit.

Beat This Caption!

We asked our staff to come up with a caption for this picture, showing Mike at his best. They did, but we think you can do better. Drop us a line and give us your ideas. We'll give a C&D gift certificate to the entry we like best; the rest we'll mock in private.

INSERT PICTURE HERE

Here in fact is our demented staff, with their caption for pie guy: Michael Thorsley (It's only ice cream) and Kyla Hawrelluk (Liar Liar: How to be a Clown).

Thanks to cover girl Glasha and to Marion and all of our friends at Graphic Services.

Richard Bilson ("Very thoughtful, but really I prefer apple")
Greg Taylor (One of the Three Stooges attempts to figure out the face value of pi)
Chadwick Severn ()