profQUOTES

"Is there anyone here who has played Dungeons & Dragons?"

L.J. Cummings, PMATH 336

"Why is this useful? (laughing) To pass the test I guess..."

L.J. Cummings, PMATH 336

"When you look at all these people. They died around 40... You wonder why you would be wasting your life doing math?"

S. Sivaloganathan, AM 250

"Imagine if aliens captured you, and you were stuck in a glass jar, and you had to solve this problem before the air ran out. What would you do?"

J. Wainwright, MATH 148

(talking about Dirac delta function) "It's not a function, but a mathematical monstrosity."

J. Wainwright, MATH 148

"As for marks, think of the TA as the bad cop, and me as the good cop. If he knocks you down, I bring you back up."

P. Hoffman, MATH 146

"I've found a way to appeal to computer science students! Take something completely trivial and give it a fancy name."

J. Mockay, STAT 231

"We are going to add another distribution next week. So eat your wheaties."

J. Mockay, STAT 231

"It's what professors do! Take something completely obvious, make it incomprehensible and call it a lecture!"

J. Mockay, STAT 231

(cell phone rings in class) Prof: "If it's for me, tell them I'll call them back."

H. Sendou, MATH 138

Prof writes on board: 0+1=0=1

S. Drekic, STAT 230

"I'm ashamed of what I've just written."

R. Willard, PMATH 330

"All males are narcissistic."

R. Willard, PMATH 330

"So, the father of this garbage can is me."

R. Willard, PMATH 330

"Yes, you can bring into the final any readings I handed out, you can even bring in your text. You can cheat like hell."

G. Booker PHIL 145

"Whenever I type any code I never have any bugs. I never have any syntax errors. These fingers are like gold. And if you believe that, I have some other stuff I can sell you."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Now, I'm not going to say this loudly, but for the next 5 minutes we're going to pretend to be engineers."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"So, here's an approximation of the algorithm, and since we're pretending to be engineers, even though it's not mathematically correct, it's good enough for us."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"As you all know, when we graduate we get degrees with some latin phrase on them. Math's is 'in search of the truth' or something... or maybe that's the X-Files."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Contracts are like sex, it's not any good when you do it by yourself."

R. Lawrence, MTHEL 100

"I don't go to McDonalds unless I like their toy of the week."

P. Lubka, ACC 122

"Don't worry, there won't be anything about rabbits on the midterm."

J. Pretti, CS 134

"You're wrong with deduction. You're wrong with induction. What's left? Go home, get drunk, crawl into bed. Pull a pillow over your head and shut out the world."

J. MacKay, STAT 231

"[referring to derivatives] ...this is just mathematical mumbo-jumbo."

Prof Lau, Econ 101

"Now there is a slight problem with this algorithm, and the slight problem is that it's wrong."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"It's called Fred. How bad can a thing called Fred be?"

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Midterms are being handed back today in the tutorial center, and on the newsgroup we tell you what to do if you want to complain. That is, don't talk to us."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Now the exam is on August 12th and I'm hoping someone has a conflict so we can get it moved, otherwise I'll have to miss Polka Dot Door that morning."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Your grand-parents would say, 'when we were kids, we used to code with rocks. We would bang them together in binary sequences and hope something happened.'"

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"So the next 8 bits are 'w' and the next 8 bitch... whoops I always get in trouble with slips of the tongue. So, as I was saying, the next 8 bastard..."

T. Vasiga, CS 241

"Zap the dickens out of somebody."

A. Law, CS 370

"Democracy works with a little stick."

T. Vasiga, CS 241