mathNEWS Issue 85.1: Friday, January 19, 2001

profQUOTES

"Has anyone heard of a technique called 'hashing'? [It has] nothing to do with cannabis."

Munro, CS 240

"When I was in school, in the early 17th century..."

Munro, CS 240

"On the final exam, question 3a, the answer is 7."

Munro, CS 240

"If you take a piece of paper and turn it, you still see the whole piece of paper."

Ng, MATH 135

"Indeterminant means something that I have not yet decided what it means."

Ng, MATH 135

Student: "What type of true and false questions will be on the quiz?"
Ng: "You will be given a statement and you must determine whether the statement is true or if it is false."

Ng, MATH 135

"My head can only do integers."

Ng, MATH 135

"The powers of omega delivers all."

Ng, MATH 135

"In this rare occasion it just spoils the party."

Ng, MATH 135

"Degree of 0 is annoying, that's why we decline to talk about it."

Ng, MATH 135

"There are 80 students here and 80 students in the other section which makes 150 in total..."

Wan, CS 370

"I get head here, here, and here," (pointing at board) "but here I get no head."

Wu, STAT 230

"I have two balls. Which goes first? I don't care."

Wu, STAT 230

"Imagine a doctor has a 99.9% success rate in operations. If I were to get 1000 operations, what is the chance I will die?"

Wu, STAT 240

Prof: "Say we had a class of 20 boys and 30 girls."
Student: "So it's not a CS class."
Prof: "umm... no."

Wu, STAT 230

"R4, 5, and 6 are mathematicians made of vector spaces."

Szaniszlo, MATH 235

"Nobody knows whether there're infinitely many even numbers that can be written as sum of primes. The booty for solving this is 1 million U.S. or pounds, I forgot which. Since I'm still working here, I won't be able to tell you the answer to the problem."

Hooper, PMATH 340

"On the newsgroup, do not post porn. There are other places for that."

Vasiga, CS 241

"One of the tragedies of our time is a company called Microsoft."

Vasiga, CS 241

"A three-year-old could explain quantum physics, but it would take a while."

Vasiga, CS 241

"I could tell you about my love experience... I won't — I'll spare you."

R. Faber, CLAS 225

"For every good financial planner, there are dozens of maniacs."

Smith, ECON 102

"I trust you with all my money because I do not have a brain in my head."

Smith, ECON 102

"I'm tired of you looking like Bambi in the headlights."

Smith, ECON 102

"I'm sure you remember the Christmas of 1990. You looked under the tree — practically nothing."

Smith, ECON 102

"God knows what you're using the internet for."

Smith, ECON 102

"Does anyone but me smell diesel exhaust?"

Cowan, CS 498R

"The reason why we have midterms is not because we're not allowed to extract your fingernails with a pincer."

Cowan, CS 498R

"The goal of this course is to teach what's in those books but not to teach what's in those books."

Cowan, CS 498R

"If you're lucky I'll find you in the ditch; if you're unlucky I'll find you in the hospital."

Cowan, CS 498R

"There was close to a decade where the Macintosh felt like it had a working interface and other operating systems felt like they might have a working interface next year."

Cowan, CS 498R

"Try typing with a hammer."

Cowan, CS 498R

"Why don't we just all stop thinking. Then it'll come out right."

Cowan, CS 498R

(looks at board) "How the hell did we get here?"

Cowan, CS 498R

"I might believe I was nominating myself for the president of Mozambique."

Cowan, CS 498R

"Why is it okay to pick up bananas in the supermarket?"

Cowan, CS 498R

"I don't want your incompetently programmed application making my superbly programmed application appear dumb."

Cowan, CS 498R

"Anyone who thinks it's unreasonable, hold up your hand so I can argue with you."

Cowan, CS 498R

"That's because i'm dealing with a computer and we all know they're not good at getting things right."

Cowan, CS 498R

"Who here adds 1 to 1 and gets 1?" (student raises hand) "You must have nightmares balancing your chequebook."

S. Mann, CS 251

"Next time you get a donut, you can draw a Karnaugh map on it... people in Tim Horton's will think you're crazy and call the police..."

S. Mann, CS 251

"I shouldn't've drawn this in red, because it's less impressive when I cross it out in green!"

S. Mann, CS 251

"I really liked Iron Maiden, back in the eighties ... freaky guitars, drug addiction, ... it's great!"

Vasiga, CS 241

"J.P. [Pretti] is sunstaining in Florida, the lucky bastard."

Vasiga, CS 241

(last quote of last lecture) "Good luck on your exams, hope not to see you next term."

Vasiga, CS 241

"You can fit a lot of numbers into 16 bits... that covers my salary."

Vasiga, CS 241

"Document or Die... and I will not kill you. You will be very happy to kill yourself."

Vasiga CS 241

"The easiest way to fix undocumented DLX code is the following unix command: 'rm *.dlx'"

Vasiga, CS 241

"There's another guy named Troy Vasiga who gets in mathNEWS all the time. I don't know anything about him."

Vasiga, CS 241



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