In an announcement late yesterday, Blolly Moom's Irish Pub at University plaza stated that it plans to open a new on-campus pub.
The press release stated that the pub has finally raised enough capital to open its much anticipated second location. Blolly Moom's has been in operation for a lengthy three weeks. Students have expressed a need for a more authentic pub closer to campus since the demise of the quality of the existing establishments.
"Response to our pub has been phenomenal since we opened." expressed the owner, Brock Kump. "It seems that since there is always a CS assignment due, there is always some group of students celebrating that it's over. And they all celebrate right here.
"We're always busy!" said Kump.
The press release also explained that Blolly Moom's also planned to fund one half the cost of construction of the new co-op building. But due to the cancellation of St. Paddie's day, Blolly Moom's doubts it will meet its forecasted earnings for this month.
"We planned to open at 6:30am, you know." explained Kump. "But now we'll just have to make do with our regular 7pm to 2pm busy hours, instead. I guess we won't be having the Blolly Moom's co-op building, after all." continued a remorseful Kump.
Waterloo officials are furious at the cancellation of St. Paddie's day. Without Blolly Moom's funding, Waterloo plans to implement a ludicrous and ridiculous plan to charge co-op students an extra $25 for 25 years. "Never mind asking the students." said one official.
Nevertheless, Blolly Moom's is unfazed at the change of plans and is surging ahead with their second location. "We plan on providing the highest quality ales and lagers available to the students on campus." said Kump. "If we can keep a sufficient state of inebriation on campus, we may yet see the official opening of the Blolly Moom's co-op building."