It was the weirdest thing since unsliced bread.
A bloke living in California recently attacked Ireland with a spoon, claiming that Ireland had been the leader of the St. Paddy's day celebrations long enough. He had been disappointed with the fact that America was not the top of the event, and decided he should take matters into his own hands.
Wielding a specially designed spoon, capable of launching atomic weapons, and bottles of pinesol. The crazed Californian, clobbered Claregalway with his atomic spoon, and quickly scuttled the Irish navy's ships. He seemed keenly interested in possessing all of the sheep as well, although not by destroying them, but taking them back home.
After realizing that he had made St. Paddy's Day into a horrible mess, and caused greef to an entire nation. The crazed Californian began to lose his mind, and drank himself into oblivion. Thankfully he drank so much that the sheep managed to escape, and return to Ireland onboard a Russian submarine (Which surprisingly did not surface under an oriental fishing vessel).
All told the casualty account was 3 beer breweries, 1600 kegs of beer, and a truck load of Irish Whisky, oh, and St. Paddy's day was cancelled.