Josh, Mike, and Adam stood uncertain before the great entrance to the evil cave of CS354. From the opening the valiant warriors could hear the faint demonic whisperings of the horror and terror that emanated from within.
"Well," said Adam, "I guess we'd better go in."
The three made their way through the mouth of the cave into the dark corridors that lay beyond. As they continued their journey, the signs and sounds of the beast became more and more apparent. They passed through chamber after chamber littered with skeletons wearing glasses and Metallica t-shirts shackled to computer terminals. Eventually they came to a giant wooden door, the words "CS354" had been burned into the front, laminated with blood.
"Are you sure this is the right cave?" asked Josh.
Adam and Mike turned to stare at him, unsure if he was actually serious. Eventually they shifted their gaze back to the door.
"Did you bring your equipment?" asked Mike, he pulled out a massive broad sword that seemed to radiate heat and light.
"I have this hammer I picked up at K-mart for $10." replied Adam as he pulled out a hammer from his backpack and held it out to Mike. Mike's eyes closed to slits as he noticed a bright orange sticker on the hammer that read $9.99.
"That's it?" Mike was shocked, "All you brought was a lousy hammer?!? Do you have any idea what is behind that door?"
"I brought a flashlight!" said Josh.
Mike's face turned somewhat red as he forced himself into a breathing exercise. Meanwhile, Adam, in an effort to clear his guilt at being unprepared engaged Josh in idle conversation.
Mike was enraged by the ineptitude of his group. "So, um, why did you bring a flashlight?" Adam's words seemed like whispers as Mike considered the situation. It wasn't as if ... "so, that thing runs on double-A batteries or what?" ... it wasn't as if he was unprepared. He had his weapon and armour at least ... "You know, in that movie Legend they used a network of mirrors to reflect sunlight on the devil, this slaying the beast. You have to wonder, if they had had a flashlight instead, wouldn't that have worked just as well?"
Mike fell to his knees with his hands to his face and started to cry.
"Awe, Mike," comforted Adam, "It's not so bad. Let's just run in there, kill this thing, and be back home in time for dinner!"
Mike raised his head, staring at Adam in total disbelief.
"He's right," said Josh, "Let's just run in there and get this thing!" Mike sighed and got up. Dragging his sword on the ground behind him with one hand, he walked up to the CS354 door and opened it with the other. The volume of the demonic sounds tripled in magnitude as the door swung open. Without waiting for a signal, Adam dashed through the door, hammer held high.
"SPOOOOON!" he screamed.
Mike shook his head and cautiously made his way through the door to follow Adam. Inside the chamber was a monstrous creature standing 80 feet tall. It seemed to have thousands of bloodshot eyes that all expressed a gaze of hatred towards the intruders. Its many giant tentacle-arms swayed around its massive form, each one covered with what seemed to be spiked thorns. Adam stood 10 metres into the chamber. He held his hammer at his side, unsure as to what to do. Mike joined him, sword drawn and ready. He looked gravely towards the demon that lay before them.
"And you bring a hammer," he said coldly.
Suddenly, without warning a lit flashlight came flying from behind them towards the creature. It hit the beast and then bounced off, breaking as it hit the ground. Both Adam and Mike slowly turned around in total astonishment and stared at Josh. Josh shrugged, then screamed, as in retaliation, he was lifted off the ground by one of the creature's tentacles.
"Ok," said Mike, "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to attack the creature at its weak point; the head. You try to free Josh and then ..." his voice trailed off as he looked at Adam's hammer, "... you do what you can with that hammer." With that, Adam nodded and then ran screaming towards the creature's tentacle that held Josh. Mike, meanwhile, started charging with his sword outstretched towards the creature's centre. "Alright," he thought, "It's payback time."