D.E. Dan

Hunk-O-Bum-Lovin'

D.E. Dan is the cutest guy in the bar, but he's used to that. With his stunning good looks, girls flock to him. But he takes it all in stride. I spent the evening with Dan, and some of his friends and roommates. They all had interesting stories of him.

Dan grew up an abused child, but that didn't hinder him. He overcame the challenges he faced early in his life. He grew into the team captain for his highschool football team, for all 8 years of his highschool career.

Dan was different from the other kids at school though. But he taught them about differences. He was bi-sexual. Having know since as long as he could remember, he used to go into his mothers closet, and dress up in her clothes. "Yeah, it was hard. I mean, I wasn't that good at sports for a while, because, I spent so much time checkin' out my mom's clothes."

Dan has a few quirks, like girls, he likes them with 'big back'. Guys should have a 'big package', and everybody should have antlers. He also doesn't prefer boxers, or briefs. Dan likes padded undergarments. "Either style is coo' I just want padding."

"I like slobbery kisses, they remind me of my dogs, Sam and Scooter. I really love Sam." However, Chuck, Dan's boyfriend, has a different opinion. He absolutely hates it when Dan screams out "Sam!" during sex. "It's disturbing, when your lover calls out their dogs name..."

Dan has two greatest accomplishments in his life. He doesn't know which is more special. Winning the "Nice Ass" award at Philthy's (Dan employed the naughty finger technique, with a mooning finale), or his St. Patty's Day parade he attended in in first year. He wore just his boxers, and walked down king st. pretending he was in a band.

Nowadays, Dan is living in Waterloo, where he studies mathematics. The Women In Math committee appreciate his dedication to their cause. When surveyed, 67% of first year female math students (that's 2 out of the 3), said they came here, hoping they could pick up Dan, a hunk-O-bumlovin'.