Don't Give Up on Pretzels!

In the wake of the recent events in the United States, I felt it was important to discuss my favourite salty treat.

First off, don't assume that just because they're deadly, pretzels can't be delicious too. I've sat down with whole bags and eaten almost half of them before my heart stopped, I started choking, and passed out. I mean, that could happen with clementines or those new Feeling drinks in the C+D just as easily, but their not even that scruptious.

Very important, there is a safe alternative: the soft pretzel. As if they were prepared (one may think too prepared) a soft pretzelery has opened up in Waterloo. They have salted, sugared, sesame seeded, and poppy seededed, so you don't have to worry about your sodium intake (or your opium intake). And let's not forget the 50-cent dipping sauces. So good. Go there and buy a soft pretzel.

Bradley Twist Smith