The Prime Minister's Office today reports that due to events in the United States, more care is being taken with the PM's breakfast. Normally he gets a medium coffee and timbits, but since Bush almost choked to death on a piece of pretzel the PMO has been having the Timbits liquefied. As extreme as this measure is, it is agreed upon by both Tim Horton's and the PM's office that if the Prime Minister was to die as a result of eating Timbits it could be bad for Canada's ever growing coffee and doughnut section of the economy.
When asked for comment Jean Chretien said something, but we were not quite sure what it was. Judy Farwig of the Prime Minister's Office said, "It was either liquefying them or changing the Prime Minister diet to baby foods."
Tim Horton's, considering demographics, has decided to expand upon the idea and is offering what they are calling Timmygoo. The Timbit alternative for young children, the elderly, Presidents, Prime Ministers, and those otherwise at risk. It is unknown how successful the new pitch will be, but Tim Horton's says it is saving money by not disposing of unused stock.
"Phat" Albert O'Connor