The Frosh Cornered

The Good, the Bad, and the Likely

Happy Ranking Day! Actually, when this goes to print it will be long after Ranking Day, but it is still the ranking season. Now that I think about it, I'm on co-op now, so Ranking Day has no meaning for me. I guess I'm the Scrooge of Ranking Day. Anyway, ever notice that there always seem to be really good and really bad jobs for each program? I sure do, however, very few people will get either of those types, and will instead get something in between. So I've made a comprehensive list of all the programs in Math (except for OR and math sci., the freak programs) and their associated good, bad, and likely co-op jobs.

Program: Actuarial Science
Good: God-like power of telling people when they will kick the bucket
Bad: Receptionist at an insurance firm
Likely: Telling receptionists when they will kick the bucket

Program: Applied Math
Good: Engineering Job
Bad: Science Job
Likely: RIM job

Program: Bioinformatics
Good: Designing your own clone army
Bad: "Vacation" co-op term
Likely: Data entry clerk at pharmacy company

Program: C&O
Good: Cryptographer for CSIS
Bad: Doing scheduling at a government job
Likely: Finding every possible way of testing a chunk o' code

Program: CS
Good: Programmer for flight simulator software
Bad: Word processing
Likely: Putting flight simulator easter eggs in word processors

Program: Math/Accounting
Good: Accounting assistant
Bad: Accounting assistant
Likely: Accounting assistant

Program: Math/Business Admin
Good: Writing investment recommendations for stock you already own
Bad: "Administrative Assistant"
Likely: "Go-fer" at one of the big banks

Program: Math/Business Double Degree
Good: Junior management
Bad: Lackey for a manager
Likely: Junior Lackey for a manager

Program: Pure Math
Good: Chaos theory research assistant
Bad: Teaching assistant at a high school
Likely: Junior CS Job

Program: Software Engineering
Good: Programmer at Microsoft
Bad: On-Campus IST job
Likely: A "software engineering" job that was called a CS job up until a softie got it

Program: Statistics
Good: Black-jack dealer
Bad: Inventory person at a box factory
Likely: Number cruncher at Stats Can

Program: Teaching Option
Good: Personal trainer at super-model health club
Bad: Being careful not to get shot working for the Scarborough board
Likely: Teaching Queen's students how to find their asses with two hands

Hope you can find yours. Again, Happy Ranking Day and hope to see some of you at the leader retreat in 2 weeks.

Ian W. MacKinnon
The Cornered Frosh