In Laymond's Terms
illegal irrelevancy detected
So Bradley brought out the archive of mathNEWS for the 70's for the troop to
peruse. After everyone has molested the big red book, I decided to flip
through the annals of mathNEWS history.
I'm convinced, now more than ever, that there must be a level of
irrelevancy that must be achieved. Right now, there's just not enough
irrelevant spew in mathNEWS in comparison to the mindless brain dumps available
during the Zepplin/Floyd era.
There's some tidbits in the archive I wouldn't mind recreating here in
the 21st century. Namely:
- The burning hatred mathNEWS had for MathSoc: It seems that every page
I turn there's a potshot taken at the president's hairdo or how one of the
reps pick their nose during mathNEWS meetings. Which brings me to my second
- More picking of the noses by MathSoc reps: We need our reps to start
picking their noses more so we can make fun of them in mathNEWS.
- More beating up of people: There seems to be a lot more references to
physical and violent opinions in mathNEWS when the faculty tried to change the
name Faculty of Mathematics to Faculty of Mathematical Sciences. Apparently,
the Faculty of Sciences went on an all-out war with Math, just holding out
on the nuclear weapons, where the MC would surely win since it's a huge
fallout shelter. Nonetheless, it created a stink, and both the Math Students
and the Faculty of Science ganged up on the Math administration. It all
ended in a bloody 3-day battle royale, and there were no winners or losers,
just lots of bloodied people beaten into various states of submission.
- Propose to change Faculty of Mathematics to Faculty of Mathematical
Engineering: Seeing that the Faculty of Science isn't as large as it was
back then to put up a fight now, I would like to see a full-out war between
the Mathematics and Engineering faculties. Bloody fights will ensue, and a
victor, however bloodied and broken he or she may be, will be crowned champion.
Before that happens though, I'd like to see some real fights, with metal
knuckles and name calling, and maybe the possibility of really sharp claws.
- More evidence that Dean Alan George is Immortal: I don't know about
this, but there are pictures of our good Dean in the archives that look
exactly like he is RIGHT NOW. I don't know about you, but it seems like
we're all in a recursive loop in the Twilight Zone.
So, in conclusion, more bloody fights, less donuts, and more pictures of
Dean George that look exactly the same as 30 years ago.