In Laymond's Terms

illegal irrelevancy detected

So Bradley brought out the archive of mathNEWS for the 70's for the troop to peruse. After everyone has molested the big red book, I decided to flip through the annals of mathNEWS history.

I'm convinced, now more than ever, that there must be a level of irrelevancy that must be achieved. Right now, there's just not enough irrelevant spew in mathNEWS in comparison to the mindless brain dumps available during the Zepplin/Floyd era.

There's some tidbits in the archive I wouldn't mind recreating here in the 21^st century. Namely:

• The burning hatred mathNEWS had for MathSoc: It seems that every page I turn there's a potshot taken at the president's hairdo or how one of the reps pick their nose during mathNEWS meetings. Which brings me to my second point:
• More picking of the noses by MathSoc reps: We need our reps to start picking their noses more so we can make fun of them in mathNEWS.
• More beating up of people: There seems to be a lot more references to physical and violent opinions in mathNEWS when the faculty tried to change the name Faculty of Mathematics to Faculty of Mathematical Sciences. Apparently, the Faculty of Sciences went on an all-out war with Math, just holding out on the nuclear weapons, where the MC would surely win since it's a huge fallout shelter. Nonetheless, it created a stink, and both the Math Students and the Faculty of Science ganged up on the Math administration. It all ended in a bloody 3-day battle royale, and there were no winners or losers, just lots of bloodied people beaten into various states of submission.
• Propose to change Faculty of Mathematics to Faculty of Mathematical Engineering: Seeing that the Faculty of Science isn't as large as it was back then to put up a fight now, I would like to see a full-out war between the Mathematics and Engineering faculties. Bloody fights will ensue, and a victor, however bloodied and broken he or she may be, will be crowned champion. Before that happens though, I'd like to see some real fights, with metal knuckles and name calling, and maybe the possibility of really sharp claws.
• More evidence that Dean Alan George is Immortal: I don't know about this, but there are pictures of our good Dean in the archives that look exactly like he is RIGHT NOW. I don't know about you, but it seems like we're all in a recursive loop in the Twilight Zone.

So, in conclusion, more bloody fights, less donuts, and more pictures of Dean George that look exactly the same as 30 years ago.

Amadaeus