American Idol Eat Bachelorettes in Alaska

Why isn't Bachelorettes in Alaska touting itself as the next generation of reality show? American Idol claims it is when it's just Popstars with a Big Brother voting system. Dog Eat Dog is Fear Factor with Who Wants to be a Millionaire and Survivor challenges. Both shows claim to be the new direction for reality TV, why doesn't Bachelorettes? They're like Temptation Island in the snow (without breaking up relationships), doesn't that count for something? Let's take a closer look at the show:

Rebekah's a skank. Hating her makes the show watchable in the first place. Especially since I've started watching it with my friend Rebecca. Whatshername, the one who likes to take it slow is funny to watch get screwed over by Tims. Sissie and the rest, whatever. I guess I'm only watching the show to hate Rebekah and get ideas for what to do for dates in Alaska. "Hi, my name is Bradley. I was wondering if you'd like to either go fishing or go cross-country skiing being pulled by a dog." Also, I guess I'm watching it for the sex scenes ... why must they be in black and white? Should voyeurism feel better if it looks like a security camera?

[WARNING, Bradley's about to try some serious social commentary! — TaxiEd] Hal Niedzvieki once wrote that the desire to dress or appear like celebrities is related to the pursuit of individuality by associating oneself with a recognizable personality. So the attraction of reality TV is that its existence enables anyone to become a socially-recognized individual (on TV). Nothing prevents a person from joining the next Survivor cast and becoming a celebrity. But that's just my view of reality television at the moment.

Back to silliness: If these three shows are the newest generation of reality TV, what will they spawn? Will we be selecting who the next pop sensation will marry based on intellect and endurance next week? I hope not — I need at least a month of training first.

Bradley Telecommentator Smith