Kampus Kids

The camps will be starting soon and the campus will be overrun with ESQ, ACE, and whatever else children. Here are some suggestions of what to do with any kids you may find yourself suddenly in charge of.

10. Send them to work in your spice mines on Kessel.
9. Play some live-action Lemmings.
8. It's like greyhound races, but instead of dogs, kids!
7. Pile them up to reach books on the top shelf at the library.
6. Dress them up in dark blue and purple clothes to keep the mosquitoes off you.
5. Construct and and xor gates.
4. Dress them up in red capes to keep the bulls off you.
3. Mark off boundaries in ultimate.
2. Lookouts for Bomber Staff or Kampus Kops.
1. Ransom.

But whatever you do, don't corrupt them. I'm talking about crude things like giving them copies of mathNEWS with pictures of monitors having sex or of Transformers balanced precariously over dildos ... oh wait, that CS girls camp already saw that issue. Oh well.

Bradley Tandem Smith