Mathie Costumes

Oh, it's that time of year again! It's the time we all dress up as witches, ghosts and goblins to remind the aesthetically challenged that they're not as ugly as they think. I speak of course of Hallowe'en.

However, you may cry from the depths of despair, lamenting your lack of ideas for a costume. Well, fear not, my socially introverted friend, the solution to your troubles lies just over the horizon. For you see, not only will you adorn the most original costume, mockers from far and wide will suspect your arithmetic affiliation without a second thought. Therefore, below is a short list of costumes that will make people shout: "I can't believe you're wearing that."

1. The Incredible Hulk in a Tutu:
   It's not as hard as it appears. Just paint yourself green and find your sister's old ballerina outfit. Muscles are optional.
2. An alcoholic mathemagician:
   Wear a wizard costume, get really, really drunk, and tell people you can make remainders disappear.
3. A beaver with a beaver hand puppet:
   Or a duck with a duck hand puppet ... the possibilities are endless. Also, if your hand puppet has multiple personalities ...
4. Genetically engineered cross-breed:
   Well, you know a dog-cow or a pig-elephant or a art-sci. Think of two animals and combine them.
5. A Mac graduate:
   This one's easy. Find your oldest, rattiest clothes and make a sign: "Will work for food."
6. Your favourite complex number:
   Pick one and wear what would best describe its "personality."
7. Your Math prof's alter-ego:
   Like Bizarro Superman. Remember to keep claiming you're the smart one. (Good for your grade)
8. A lesser known dwarf:
   You know, like fatty dwarf, stupid dwarf, necro dwarf, or love-child dwarf, etc.

Please use this information wisely and remember:
As with all privileged knowledge, guard it with unfaltering vigilance. May the computationally accosted never corrupt the simple beauty of a Mathie wearing dignity on one sleeve and attempting to calculate its value with the slide rule on the other.

Death to those who oppose the MATH,

Your raving outpatient