So anyway, it all begins with SHOBEY!!! You know, the crazy foreign language of our kings. Well, with the praises and whatnot, it can be quite a controversial topic, but that's not what we're here to talk about now, is it? It's more like random explosions in the bush. You're damned if you know how the hell they started happening, or what's even fueling them, but you just know they're there, and you run like a bitch on buttermilkfingers.
So anyways, SHOBEY!!! Yeah man, SHOBEY!!! Let's hear it one more time, SHOBEY!!!
Yeah, pirates and whatnot are a popular subject, but short from derailing my train of thought ... heh, good one eh? ... Yeah, so where were we going?
Oh yes, pirates. One name particularly comes to mind with the mention of pirates. And no, its not SHOBEY!!! Its the dreaded, or cursed name, Captain P Pumpernickle of the New York Times, most accredited and feared pirates. With this in mind, it really makes you think why such a pirate would be in the New York Times. And for that matter, who the hell reads the New York Times?! SHOBEY!!!
So lets continue; this pirate was a feared man once, just like that long lost product, Virtual Boy. Yes, you all know what I'm talking about. The seven seas were his wrasslin' grounds, and the desert islands were his sanctuaries. He ate pineapples like there was no tomorrow. The pirates of the good ship (well, bad ship) RICE (which stood for rice) were a mean and ferocious people. They ate your skin and called it pepperoni.
There was one particular adventure that I remember. It involved gold, monkeys, paperclips, envelopes, monkeys, and bars of soap — gleaming, beautiful bars of soap. The soap was for afterwards. The envelopes were for the monkeys. The monkeys were for the pepperoni. And so forth sang the pirates.
Now with the bananas, the pirates could call for the power of the Power Rangers, a mighty force not to be reckoned with. Man, did they rule northern Russia (and regions of Britain) with their incredible powers in 1570. They had monkeys for bananas, staples for staplers, and even party kazoos to play their schoolyard tunes of death with.
So to continue the story, these pirates once kidnapped the King of Siam, and ransomed him for 3400 yen. They got their money and bought some stuff (who knows what) and anyways they all wore fake mustaches and talked backwards. !!!YEBOHS