So You've Decided to Trick or Treat

Because I am such a nice guy, I have decided to provide you all with a list of things that can be done on Hallowe'en for your enjoyment/other people's enjoyment.

• Don't shave/shower for the next two and a half weeks in order to trick or treat as a bum
• Refuse any candy in a wrapper that has yellow on it
• Eat the candy as soon as you get it and ask for more claiming you didn't get any the first time
• Start undoing your belt as you say, "Trick or treat ... if you know what I mean ..."
• Run up to other groups of children and say trick or treat, fully expecting them to give you candy
• Dress up as a princess
• Dress up as the paperbag princess
• Fill your bag with lots and lots of dirt and try to trade with an unsuspecting child based purely on weight of the bag
• Get your friends to toilet-paper and egg you until you're completely covered in order to sucker more candy out of people via visible threat
• Sing Christmas carols at every house instead
• Only settle for alcohol
• Try and convince the candy giver-awayer that you are the substitute come to relieve him/her and he/she can take a rest now
• Pretend to be a scarecrow so unsuspecting children will get frightened when you suddenly come alive
• Pretend to be a scarecrow on someone else's porch
• Visit the same house ten times in an hour without changing your costume
• Find a strong iron trident and give it to me before Hallowe'en
• Go put a cauldron with strange ingredients over a large fire in a busy public place then dance around it chanting
• Bring all your candy to me so I can consider exchanging it for your soul

e.