In an effort to bring to light the real issue facing this campus and Math at Waterloo, reporter Albert O'Connor went to see the people with the answers!
First, he encountered his old adversary, Ryan O'Connor, VP-ED of the FEDs. After a few simple introductory questions, Ryan got straight to the point. He stood up, grabbed Albert by the neck, and put him into a headlock with a nuggie added for good measure. In this battle of O'Connor versus O'Connor, O'Connor clearly came out on top.
Next on the schedule was a meeting with Mike Kerrigan, VP-IN of the FEDs. Once Albert entered the office, Mike wasted no time and thrust Albert onto the floor and placed him in various positions that we could only assume were locks of some kind, often incorporating the head. Here we have the head and single leg lock.
Unphased by his previous encounters, Albert made his way across the hall to the office of the Exec of the FEDs Exec, FEDs President, Brenda Slomka (um, I mean Koprowski). It seemed like Albert was finally getting to the bottom of things. The questions at first were civil, but then Brenda got a phone call reminding her the only way to deal with mathNEWS reporters is to put them into a headlock!
Finally, Albert decided that he only really needed answers about Math. So he went straight to the source: the Dean! But Dean George is an experienced man when it comes to handling the concerns of publications like mathNEWS, and went straight from a hand shake to an iron grip on Albert's head. A most impressive headlock. With arms like that who could question his rule?
Seriously folks, all these wonderful celebrities, with very little provacation, agreed to put a member of our staff into a headlock. Almost too little provacation. Thanks to all of the people who put their arms around Albert's head to make this tribute complete. Arms of a girl, arms of a girl!
Albert and Simon