A Huge Leap Toward "Tear-Free Onions"

Last month a group of Japanese scientists identified an enzyme in onions that makes people cry. They stated that it triggers the production of a chemical that irritates the tear glands and causes people to cry. The scientists claim that this discovery may lead to creation of a tear-free onion.

Officially, the scientists are planning to study how the enzyme contributes to the taste of an onion. However, sources close to 22 Pages has informed us that the scientists are secretly working on isolating the chemical that causes their children to throw tantrums during dinner, especially when they serve vegetables, and to reach for junk food by any possible means. They are also working with a group of Canadian scientists to figure out the chemical in milk that causes the Moo sound when a milk carton is shaken.