mathNEWS Issue 90.6: Friday, November 29, 2002

Star Trek Nemesis Preview

The details of the upcoming movie Star Trek Nemesis have been kept secret from me, until yesterday! Here is a report a received on just some of the excitement we can come to expect from the newest installment in the famous series.

First of all, the story revolves around a Romulan space station and the recent return of a long-since missing NASA shuttle: Discovery. However, Discovery has had a run-in with another alien shuttle, but only after an asteroid scrapped against its side, damaging it and distorting its name. Discovery now believes it is on a mission of Disco (having lost the 'very' from its name) and plans to destroy the Romulans for their ungroovy ways.

The movie will also introduce a new ship after the Enterprise E undergoes saucer sep' and collides with itself. The ship will be Defiant class, so will actually just be the Defiant model with the numbers changed. Features on this new ship (rumoured to be called one of Reliant or Valiant or Audaciousant) will include work stations that don't explode when the ship is hit by phaser fire and a new type of warp drive powered by Tachyomen (a recently discover species made entirely of faster-than-light particles) in hampster wheels.

Among the crew, we can expect to see the sudden unexplained return of Worf, Data battling someone really strong (but eventually beating them), Geordie diving under the blast doors right before engineering is sealed, Crusher being there, Troi rescuing the ship from doom by sensing that the Romulans are lying about the nearby spacial anomaly being safe, and Picard being dashing with his even-shinier head.

A special plot twist will involve Bill Riker, Will Riker's transporter accident twin Tom Riker's evil twin from an alternate universe Thomas Riker's genetically enhance clone Willy Riker's hologram being impersonated by a changling, and Lore.

And finally, can we expect to get any resolution to the Voyager cast, or learn more about what happened to Sisko and the rest of the DS9 crew? No, of course not. How will they attract more viewers to the franchise if they fill the movie with tidbits fans will enjoy?

Anybody seen Trekkies? You did notice that the kid with the mullet wrote Nemesis, right? I'm scared.

Bradley T Smith

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