One-Liners

CIBC recently gave 1.6 million in undergraduate scholarships to Math Students — this is expected to double the amount of unclaimed scholarship money by Math Students.

One UW student and one alum are running for city council — their slogan? "If you're over 30, screw-ya!"

Laurier Business programs are on the verge of de-regulation — if things get any worse they'll have to give up wearing designer labels.

The warriors football team has been tanking lately — the athletics office has stated that they will start using scientific notation to show the opposing team's score.

The School o' CS says they need more room — goodbye 'Modern Languages' building, hellloooo 'Formal Languages' building.

A school board in Hamilton has segregated a 'boys only' class so kids could concentrate in class more — this was modeled after MATH 147 classes.

CECS has said that a trial group of co-op students will use the new online system starting soon — the first group will be chosen from those who nearly rioted last week when they were in line to drop off resumes and they were locked out.

President Bush went before the UN last week in order get help for policing post-war Iraq — in order to get it, he had to promise that 'freedom fries' would be renamed 'foot-in-mouth fries'.

Ian W. MacKinnon