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Dear Editor:
A whole page for an Intent to Transfer form making the point that the B.CS is for idiots who can't hack the B.Math(CS)? You must really have been low on material. Though, admittedly, there's not much you can say about this point that isn't self-evident. B.CS students aren't even allowed to take the killer course CS 494 that half of all B.Math(CS) students proudly used to complete their degrees. The increased out-of-Faculty breadth and depth requirements of the B.CS and its ability to accommodate new programs like the joint B.CS/BBA double degree with Laurier are just distractions attempting to hide the truth that math courses are the only ones that matter. To be honest, you really should have made fun of people graduating under the old B.Math(CS) rules, since the new ones require three math courses chosen from a shortlist rather than a free choice, plus those pesky out-of-Faculty requirements. But that's a minor point. The important thing is that B.Math(CS) soon-to-be-graduates, like the forty-odd years of classes that have graduated before them, can rest secure in the knowledge that this Faculty went to the dogs right after that diploma was handed to them.

Yours sincerely,
Prabhakar Ragde
School of Computer Science

Dear mathNEWS:
I have a question. My stepdaughter is getting married in June of this year. She is living with her mother and has been for years. They are very close. What is my responsibility as a stepmother for this wedding? Do I get involved? I don't want to take anything away from the brides mother. I have a eleven year old daughter myself and I know how excited I will be to plan her wedding. Please email me back with an answer.

Thanks,
Karen

I have three words for you: Duck and Cover. That solves everything

KreasEd

Dear mathNEWS:
here's the mathNEWS car...

Pete Love

Dear mathNEWS:
Your article was extremely disgusting and horrific. I can't believe this barbaric practice is legal, its an outrage! Making Bonsai puppies and kittens is animal abuse and should be outlawed. I cannot believe you promote this disgusting mangling of animals. I suggest that the people who promote and support this mutilation should be put in boxes themselves.

Disgusted and Angry
Mike

[Note to readers - check out 'Bonsai Puppy' in issue 3 from last term (article available online at http://www.mathnews.uwaterloo.ca/Issues/mn9303/puppy.php) to learn about bonsai puppies.] Did you know that some dogs (such as dobermanns and rottweilers) have their tails cut off almost immediately after birth, while some breeds have their ears cut off. I think it would be kinda cool if I were shaped like a baseball bat or a hypercube...

KreasEd

Dear mathNEWS:
Mr.Hello to my brothers students of uwaterloo!
Here is what i want to say to you .Below Is written a elementary proof of Fermat's Last theorem created by me .In fact Ithink is Fermat's original proof.The proof is written in a concise form. If anybody has any questions just feel free to contact me.I send this proof by email to Mr.Prof.Alf Poorten ,Author of the book "Notes on the Fermat Last Theorem"and Iwill send to you his answer and my replies to him.
He blundered! He thinks that is a proof of a "crank".Do you agree with him? As I said Feel free to contact me with any questions. This e-mail will be followed as Isaid by his reply and my anserws in order.Have Fun!

Gheorghe Ghiata

[The "proof" sent to us is essentially unreadable - if you really want to see it, email us at mathnews@student.math.uwaterloo.ca and I'll forward it to you. We received 9 of them in total; including the reply from the professor he emailed it to, who had the best reply: "I have glanced at all 19 versions of your 'proof'. I did foolishly write in it that Wiles' proof would 'get the cranks off our backs'. That's plainly not so."]

KreasEd