Lesser Known Geneva Convention Rules

• Starting a war on a weekend is breach of international law, regardless of UN approval.
• Xbox owning countries may only invade non-Xbox owning countries if they bring enough for everyone.
• If you're captured by the enemy, you can still use the phone to vote for American Idol.
• If your country is financing another country's war via large trade deficits, and you condemn it, your country is required to buy the booze for the next UN kegger.
• It is an atrocity punishable by life imprisonment to use chemical weapons. It is an atrocity punishable by 'sacking' to use the smell from the Comfy Lounge as a weapon.
• It is prefectly legal to start a war if the leader of the opposing country is talking smack about your woman.
• If a spy is caught in another country before he/she actually does anything evil, they have to wear a dunce cap all the way back to their own country.
• It is not acceptable to humiliate prisoners. However, if they voluntarily streak through the prison draped in your country's flag, you have to let them go, no questions asked.
• If your start a war, then get kicked out of office in the next election, every citizen in the country you just invaded is entitled to spank you once.
• When oil fields are being divided up among allied countries, the first one to call 'shotgun' gets first pick.

Ian W. MacKinnon