So You've Decided to Start an Empire

Apparently we have some kind of theme to this issue.. Apparently that theme is Troy. So, it's only logical that I write an article about how to start your very own empire to impersonate the successful trojan empire... ...

Yes. So, after my long absence from mathNEWS, I am making my triumphant return with *dundunduuuuun* yet another article that starts with a so you've decided to. Warning: I'm not feeling very funny.

On with the empirical list!

• Come up with a cool name - make sure that people who are part of your empire are mistaken for condoms
• Pick a mascot - horse is taken, consider a bunny rabbit or some other vicious creature with fangs
• Wage war against a country that is much bigger than you to initiate a seemingly unending string of retreats
• When you can retreat no further, "surrender" by giving your enemies a giant statue of your previously chosen mascot
• Get your hidden warriors to break out of the mascot and kill your unsuspecting enemies
• Lose the rest of your empire

So, there you have it. Helpful hints to keep your budding new army and empire in check. Don't you find it strange that the famous Trojan horse symbolizes a broken condom? You've got some warriors inside.. And they bust out in the middle of the night and take over the castle..

Anywho..

e.
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