profQUOTES

"[It was] sort of a major earthquake in mathematics, although nobody else noticed."

Buss, CS 360

"Having said that, of course, I'm going to violate it in about five minutes."

Buss, CS 360

"The term non-deterministic means, firstly, that it is not deterministic... "

Buss, CS 360

"Even though you're University of Waterloo students, we recognize that you can't be in two places at the same time."

Clarke, CS 350

"I'm not going to say that there won't be any questions on medieval Italian ceramics on the final exam."

Clarke, CS 350

"The more fear you have, the better you will do."

Clarke, CS 350

"... not that concurrency control is going to be that lax in a bank... we hope."

Clarke, CS 350

"It would actually be to your benefit for me to curl up in the corner and go to sleep."

Clarke, CS 350

"Computing of the future... tape drives in your garage."

Clarke, CS 350

[20 minutes before class ends] "Come on, I got another minute!"

Clarke, CS 350

"On your next work term, when your employer asks you to design a user interface, you can put your feet up on the table and read a novel."

Cowan, CS 349

"If there exists hell, we can think of ways certain people are tormented. What are some torments you can think of for bad user interface designers?"

Cowan, CS 349

"What about someone who happens to have not misspent their youth studying physics?"

Cowan, CS 349

"You've got a sign error. Don't panic; you'll get through it."

Dickey, PMATH 360

"I wanted to do an example, but I think I'll skip it." [blank faces] "Fine! I'll do the example. Damn!"

Geelen, MATH 235

"It's easier; you don't have to do manipulation and all that crap we've learned so far."

Khadra, MATH 237

"What's the derivative of f?" [silence] "Good morning!" [silence] "I know it's 8:30 in the morning..." [silence] "I'll give you a bonus mark." [two hands go up]

Khadra, MATH 237

"Say the average age is 30 and you are already 28; you are going to take out a loan... you have 2 more years to live."

Lau, ECON 102

"The 50-dollar bill is not just a piece of paper; it's so messed up that you can't even write on it."

Lau, ECON 102

"Who doesn't know how to take partial derivatives?" (Long pause, one hand up) "One brave soul to tell the truth... Don't ever run elections; you'll never get elected."

Metzger, STAT 231

[strange noise] "What is that? That's not your cell phone, is it? Couldn't you have picked something better?"

Metzger, STAT 231

"Let's say that X is the distance from here to Laurier, so... from here to the nearest high school."

Metzger, STAT 231

"Never use Riley Proofs in another course — you will be laughed at."

(Riley) Metzger, STAT 231

"This is a math course, not an ethics course."

Metzger, STAT 231

[Upon the death of a bad joke] "Come on! I have to practice these things with my wife. She laughs; can't you pretend too?"

Metzger, STAT 231

"I would make love to these variables, if I could... don't tell that to my wife."

Metzger, STAT 231

"Don't show this to your Pure Mathie friends — they will all cry."

Metzger, STAT 231

"This example ruins the fun, if you haven't done your assignment already. It shows you how to do the question. You can leave the room if you want."

New, MPATH 336

"I have a great way of remembering the digits of π. Just assign words the same length as the numbers. 'How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy chapters of quantum mechanics.' That was from my physics days."

Panjer, ACTSC 231

"I will give anyone $100 Canadian if you can recite 500 digits of π to me by tomorrow."

Panjer, ACTSC 231

Student: "Can you explain infinity?" Prof: "You know, Infiniti. It's a nice car. You can drive it around forever."

Panjer, ACTSC 231

"Simple. High school calculus. You did go to high school, right?"

Panjer, ACTSC 231

"A word is worth 0.001 pictures, right?

Panjer, ACTSC 231

"We could take x+2, but that would be sort of perverse."

Siegel, MATH 148

"sin x at π, which is 0, most of the time.

Siegel, MATH 148

"After six pages of advance mathematics, your brain will explode, and you'll say, 'a-ha, its of course the square root of n'"

Vasiga, CS 240

"Of course my name is Sally. Of course I fly penguins to work everyday"

Vasiga, CS 240

"I don't know the difference between backslash and frontslash. I grew up in DOS and moved to Unix, then I was traumatized"

Vasiga, CS 240

Prof: "Is that a backslash?" Student: "That's a frontslash." Prof: "Ah shit!"

Vasiga, CS 240

"The short answer is yes, the long answer is no."

Vasiga, CS 240

"If you still don't get it, ask your mother."

Vasiga, CS 240

"Integrating a polynomial is easy... it's kindergarten integration!"

Wood, MATH 138

"This is an algebra problem, which you people evidently don't like... so I'll skip the proof of this"

Wood, MATH 138

"Integration by staring... the best technique of all!"

Wood, MATH 138