Top n Reasons why not to write for mathNEWS

So we got suckered into writting for MathNews. Here is why you should not repeat this mistake:

1. Mathies can't read, so why write?
2. They'll make you climb 5 flights of stairs.
3. You have to hang out with the editors.
4. They tell you there will be food, but there's a 2.5 hr wait to get it.
5. They tell you there will be food, but there's only pizza.
6. The MathNeWSSS file system rejects your login, and gives error msgs that have nothing to do with the error.
7. You can write articles, but they're not going to print them anyway.
8. You spend time writing when you should be in class/studying for midterms/preparing for interviews.
9. More people read Imprint.
10. No one will date anyeone who writes for mAThNeWS (why do you think we use nicknames at the bottom?)

After reading over our work, we realized that we should be done. Bye! (Oh, we feel it's only fair to note that if you do write for MATHnews, you get to poke the editors [Beware though, the editors poke back! — StatsEd])

DisgruntledEd and Robbert Affingar