2A Student Recovering After Hoodie Removal Surgery

Local 2A mathie Clonie McStudent is recovering at home after being released from Red River Hospital after a rare but relatively safe hoodie-removal procedure.

The proud Waterloo student rejected mathNEWS reporters' requests for interviews, but we were able to contact her roommate for information.

"As soon as she arrived in town three weeks ago, she put on her favourite Waterloo hoodie. At first, I wasn't concerned, and bought her story that she just wanted to wear it after a co-op term of not being able to."

The roommate told us that after a few days, he became concerned for Clonie's public image. "She started to smell pretty bad in that thing... I think she was wearing it to school and to sleep everyday. After the first week I tried to steal it to wash while she was in the shower, but she had brought it into the bathroom and locked the door."

As the stench increased, a concerned prof, worried about attendence in his lecture, contacted the MUO and asked them to intervene.

A special unit of Campus Police officers, trained for quarentening smelly laundry (usually caused by engineers and mathies during exam periods) stormed the Comfy Lounge the following day and took Clonie to the Village 1 laundry room where they hoped to wash the offending garment.

Female officers were delayed when unable to remove the sweater. However, this special unit was prepared even for the worst of cases and contacted Red River to announce they had a "code Black and Gold".

Clonie had come out of her school-pride stuper at the shock of her arms being attached to her sweater. She agreed to be transported by Campus Police to Red River's ER, where a team of four cosmetic surgeons spent three hours removing the cotton/polyester blended fabric from the skin of her arms and neck.

"We're just lucky she was wearing a t-shirt underneath," the head doctor commented to mathNEWS staff by phone following the operation. "Otherwise she'd be a lot worse for wear."

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